Printable View
SIR?!?
SIR?!?
LISTEN UP, MISSY... YOU WILL ADRESS US AS DRILL SERGEANT, BECAUSE WE WORK FOR A DAMN LIVING.. WE'RE BUSTIN OUR HUMPS POSTING WHILE YOU SLEEP, OR GO OUT PARTYING WITH YOUR FRINEDS.. IT WAS US UP LATE AT NIGHT, MAKING SURE YOU STILL HAD A BOARD TO GO TO.
AND THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YOU!!
<font color="#a62a2a" size="1">[ June 29, 2002 11:04 PM: Message edited by: Firebird98 ]</font>
Hey, can I go to the beach? Please, please, can I, huh, can I, please, huh?
*Whispers to Wiloe*
Does this mean we have to shave our heads?
Do you have any idea how long its taken me to get it to grow it this long without permanently looking like a stray dog?
*looks more and more concerned the more she contemplates the possibility*
*addresses platoon*
LISSEN UP! Senior Drill Instructor may call you people "privates", but as far as I'M concerned, you're not a private until you graduate from boot camp. To me, you're RECRUITS: lower than privates, lower than civilians. I've already gone through this game once before, so another 8 weeks is nothing to me.
*points to a la-z-boy off to the side of the quarterdeck*
See that chair? That's my chair. I'm going to sit in that chair and sip a lemonade every time one of you freaks gets on that quarterdeck to dig. What's "dig"?
Mountain-climbers.
Push-ups.
Leg-lifts.
Bend-and-thrusts.
Jumping jacks.
Look out the windows. See those squared-off areas of sand? You will also dig there. That's called "going to the beach".
If you don't want to go to the beach, I suggest you RECRUITS get with the program!
Oh, here comes Senior Drill Instructor. I wonder what advice he has to impart upon us today?
*gets nose to nose with Lulu*
BECAUSE IT IS A GOOD IDEA!!!!!!!
NOW DROP AND GIVE ME 20!!!!
I KEEP TELLING THOSE MIBBITS TO STOP FOLLOWING ME WHILE I'M IN CAMP, SIR! (it's just not military if you don't say it in bold lettering)
(Notices General arriving. He addresses the troops on new military policy, saying,"No exceptions, even the STP division!". Said policy is for an uncensored pledge of allegiance every morning.)
But, General Halftrack, SIR, we all swore our national allegiences when we joined up. That should be enough. I'd rather opt ou--
(The sound of many rifles clacking, the General's aids point their barrels at Mibbitmaker, surrounding said poster) [img]eek.gif[/img]
I PLEDGE ALLEGIENCE, TO THE FLAG.....
SHUT IT!!!!!
YOU MIGHT GET AWAY WITH THAT CRAP AROUND THE GENERAL BUT NOT HERE IN MY ARMY!!!!
NOW DROP AND DO FLUTTER KICKS TILL I'M TIRED!!!
(Thinks the following internally, so as not to get in trouble)
Yeah, if you call having a bunch of government-issue rifles pointed at you, ready to turn you into an Enron memo, "getting away with that crap".
(The General comes back, having overheard the proceding post (though not my comments, which I didn't say out loud). He almost presses his face against Sgt. Ski's, after a scolding glance at the flutter-kicking Mibbit.)
GEN. HALFTRACK: "What's this I hear about me letting insubordinants 'get away' with things??" (another glance at yours truly, then back at Ski; same expression) "Hmm... looks like I have two recalcitrants in my army. IS THAT RIGHT, SERGEANT?"
General, if you don't mind, I TRAIN THESE POSTERS, NOT YOU!!! PLEASE EXCUSE YOURSELF FROM MY TRAINING AREA!!
*looks at mibbit*
Tired yet?
Mibbit: yes... sergant....
TOO BAD!!!
1,2,3,4...1,2,3,4..
ANYBODY ELSE WANNA BITCH AND MOAN? CAUSE IF I HEAR JUST ONE SNIVEL.. YOU'LL BE SKINNIN' TATERS WITH THE OTHER FOLKS OVER THERE!!
PVT CRAZY!! Doin' a hell of a job!!!
(hard to type this, flutter-kicking AND transcribing (whew!), thought Mibbit, internally, of course)
GEN. HALFTRACK: "Hold on there, son... PULLING RANK, EH? I'M YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER, SOLDIER, AND I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THAT FROM ANYBODY!
...EXCEPT MY WIFE... ANd, of course, Miss Buxley... Beetle kinda... well...."
(The General pauses, as both unit commanders and pvt. Mibbit sweat out the possibilities, not to mention the calestenics (or however you spell it))
GEN.: "...carry on, sgt." (sighing softly) (muttering: ) "bet the general in Sad Sack never hadda put up with this..."
...
(Just then, a stray mibbit peaks out from behind a telephone pole...)